When Will Thredbo Host The Winter Olympics??
"when snow falls, nature listens.."
I didn’t grow up around snow.
As a kid I used to get jealous watching American movies where they’d have “snow days” and everyone got the day off school. I genuinely believed (hoped) that one year my school on the NSW South Coast would be hit by a historic blizzard and they’d cancel our education.
There was always a rumour that if it got over 42 degrees they’d send us home. But that’s not the same thing. Firstly, they never actually did. We stayed put while each year some kind of hell-induced furnace roared through December and early February. Secondly, it’s not as fun playing with your friends when your skin feels like it’s about to peel off and the tarmac is fusing to your shoes.
Anyway.
All of this is to say: every four years when the Winter Olympics rolls around, I’m a little confused.
I think I disrespect it.
I know it’s still the Olympics. But part of me believes the Summer Olympics is the real Olympics… and the Winter Olympics is like when they let the Auskickers have a run during halftime at the footy.
I know that’s offensive to every athlete who’s dedicated their life to it. But that’s my truth.
I also get wildly confident watching it.
I’ve skied maybe four times in my life. But five minutes into the downhill I’m suddenly a retired world champion / coach / commentator talking to no one in my lounge room.
“wide on that turn.”
“Lost it thru the middle”
“Snow looks slushy today, they need to prepare for that...”
I’m on my couch at 11:30pm covered in Dorito dust.
Also, to be honest, I don’t even know the rules. I just mostly clap when someone doesn’t die.
I think it’s hard for Australians. We don’t fully celebrate the sporting heroics because we’re too busy questioning the logistics of the whole thing.
“How did they get up the mountain?”
“They’d wanna have snow chains.”
“I wonder what the food’s like up there? It was awful when I went to Perisher. Nine dollars for a small bowl of chips. How is the government sports body funding this???”
And it makes sense! We live in a country that feels like it’s hovering slightly off the surface of the sun. Our relationship with snow is a single chaotic day trip to Mt Buller in late July.
We are simply not a snow nation.
Every Australian Winter Olympian has the same bio:
• Queensland born and raised
• Trained at a shopping centre ice skating rink
• Parents sold the jet ski/speedboat to fund it
It’s kind of beautiful really.
Also — that bloke who won bronze and immediately announced he’d cheated on his girlfriend and wanted her back?
Low-key worst bloke alive. Maybe not even low-key. Just a grim dude.
Brother. Did the career of Tiger Woods teach you nothing? Win first, apologise later. Ideally never. You are toxiiiiiiiiiic my man (and not in the Britney Spears way).
Anyway — that’s where my week’s gone. Quick little newsletter to say hi.
The tour is off and racing. Did a fun week in Perth alreadt. Canberra, Adelaide, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane (+ more) coming up.
Come along.
Talk soon,
Sam